it was a pretty decent fire
click the pic
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Addendum to the last post:
im also really starting to worry about bills. i know i don't live alone, but i am paying my car insurance, as well as medical bills. that's like 130 or so a month. Without a job thats money i can't afford to spend. so i dunno what i'm gonna do. i already cancelled other shit i was paying for like my netflix and what not. i might have to drive without insurance for a while. which would be no good. ugh. someone find me a job that pays me $10+ an hour please. and i dont wanna work at in n' out despite urgings from my friends.
oh yeah. i forgot to mention. Oct. 20th is my court date the fuckin County of Alameda finally got around to my court case for the broken collar bone. So it's the people of CA vs John Barrett. The cause of my wonderful affliction. If i win the guy gets jail time or some shit. This case really has nothing to do with me, honestly, i dont think im going to be seeing any money or anything of the sort. Ah well.
cheers
oh yeah. i forgot to mention. Oct. 20th is my court date the fuckin County of Alameda finally got around to my court case for the broken collar bone. So it's the people of CA vs John Barrett. The cause of my wonderful affliction. If i win the guy gets jail time or some shit. This case really has nothing to do with me, honestly, i dont think im going to be seeing any money or anything of the sort. Ah well.
cheers
how bout an actual post?
Ain't it funny how i start almost every update like that? no? i thought not.
I've been feeling this sense of restlessness lately. Like i need to live in my own place. It's indeed time i move out but by the looks of things that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Due to the fact that i don't have a job at the moment. There's only a few of my friends that i think i could live with without being annoyed or agitated constantly. To those of you reading this who think you might fall into the aforementioned category please don't take offense, I'm just saying in a matter of personal preference there's only certain types of people that i feel i could live with. This doesn't detract how much i like you or value your friendship.
Right now my grandparents, whom i love, are trying to keep the reigns tight. It's hard, when I'm almost 23 and they're telling me every time i go out "you'd better not be drinking" or insisting that i go to church. My grandmother has the early onsets of dementia and consistently tells me that she heard my brother this morning and blah blah, and then when i leave the room to get a drink or something and come back to the room she's in she says "billy, where were you? i haven't seen you all day." and i have to explain that i was right there a few moments ago and that i don't have a brother, have been the only only boy of my mother's four children for the past 22 years. she then looks at me with sad eyes and says "i know in my head that you don't have a brother but i always feel like you do and it makes me sad that i think that..." and it kills me to know that she knows she's not doing well mentally. i have nothing to say back to her, no comforting words to assure her it's gonna be ok. sometimes at night she'll yell really loudly because she's having nightmares. I'm usually up and out of my room and over to her room in a matter of seconds, but she'll be sound asleep. I can tell that it's hard on my Grandpa too.
There's also the matter of household bills. being that i don't have a job right now i can't pitch in. My sisters don't do much in the way of helping out either, there's always complaints of who does chores and for whatever god awful reason marilynn won't leave the fan or radio in her room off. Trisha is hardly home and when she is, she's usually in one of her moods, or she's tired, or depressed and snaps at anyone who tells her anything. So, i do what i can around the house, but the majority of the time i don't really care to be home. which sounds awful but that's how it is. I've been spending a bunch of time either at Mace's house or at Matt and Aaron's house. The latter of which have been talking of plans to move into a house. like i said, the way things are at the moment, it doesn't seem like that will happen anytime soon.
The reason i don't have a job these days is a simple one. My boss was an underhanded ass-hat. it's been a few weeks since i quit working at the DVD transfer place Denevi's. But while i was there i'd give my boss weeks of notice before my school would start, he would forget and i would get calls or texts from coworkers telling me that Mike Denevi was practically blowing steam out of his ears due to me not being at work. at one point i asked to rearrange my schedule so that i would work a m-f work week and have my weekends available instead of my normal M, W, F, S schedule and he would say "You know, i can't just accommodate you." i would reply with "i know, just if you can, please consider making that change for me" and he would say "ill see what i can do" and that would be that. The next week i would look at my schedule and i had T, TH, as well as S off. which Stole a day of work from me instead of adding one. When i brought it up to him he was like "you wanted your weekends, there they are." and i told him i'd work the weekend. The next week i came in M, and then on W when i came in he said "Where were you yesterday?" and the list of malpractices continues. After my coworker called me when i was camping and left a voice message saying "hey buddy (insert small talk here) hey when you get a chance we should probably have a chat about work" when i called him back he basically told me i was on Mike's shit list and that Mike had put me on probation without telling me. this is when i decided to quit.
you guys probably don't care about all that, but yeah, i needed to vent.
so now, I'm looking for work. i applied with a temp agency but i haven't heard anything. I guess i'll have to call them soon. I also filled out two apps at Cal state east bay. I really would rather not work retail, but this is looking like an impossibility currently.
Lately i've also been feeling kind of lonely. I know this is just residue from my last relationship. Like anyone i just want someone to be there with me, to hug, hold, cuddle, etc. Julia and I ran our course and ended things in an amicable way one month short of a year. She and i were very different from each other and the kind of lifestyles we were used to living didn't do well for the other person. Our interests and likes didn't mesh up as well as we would have liked. So it's over and we're still friends, and nothing is really even in the slightest bit weird, which i am thankful for, but I'm not really the type to make things weird. so that's good. Aside from lonely I'm also feeling unattractive, which totally sounds like a girly thing to say, but its how I'm feeling so judge me accordingly. I always feel like I'm the wing man. Which is why i never go out and get the ladies with my friends, because inevitably i am not alpha dog. Also i've found that when children say things, no matter how rude they are, it's usually just an observation that hasn't been filtered with tact. i think i'll end this entry here and hit the hay.
I've been feeling this sense of restlessness lately. Like i need to live in my own place. It's indeed time i move out but by the looks of things that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Due to the fact that i don't have a job at the moment. There's only a few of my friends that i think i could live with without being annoyed or agitated constantly. To those of you reading this who think you might fall into the aforementioned category please don't take offense, I'm just saying in a matter of personal preference there's only certain types of people that i feel i could live with. This doesn't detract how much i like you or value your friendship.
Right now my grandparents, whom i love, are trying to keep the reigns tight. It's hard, when I'm almost 23 and they're telling me every time i go out "you'd better not be drinking" or insisting that i go to church. My grandmother has the early onsets of dementia and consistently tells me that she heard my brother this morning and blah blah, and then when i leave the room to get a drink or something and come back to the room she's in she says "billy, where were you? i haven't seen you all day." and i have to explain that i was right there a few moments ago and that i don't have a brother, have been the only only boy of my mother's four children for the past 22 years. she then looks at me with sad eyes and says "i know in my head that you don't have a brother but i always feel like you do and it makes me sad that i think that..." and it kills me to know that she knows she's not doing well mentally. i have nothing to say back to her, no comforting words to assure her it's gonna be ok. sometimes at night she'll yell really loudly because she's having nightmares. I'm usually up and out of my room and over to her room in a matter of seconds, but she'll be sound asleep. I can tell that it's hard on my Grandpa too.
There's also the matter of household bills. being that i don't have a job right now i can't pitch in. My sisters don't do much in the way of helping out either, there's always complaints of who does chores and for whatever god awful reason marilynn won't leave the fan or radio in her room off. Trisha is hardly home and when she is, she's usually in one of her moods, or she's tired, or depressed and snaps at anyone who tells her anything. So, i do what i can around the house, but the majority of the time i don't really care to be home. which sounds awful but that's how it is. I've been spending a bunch of time either at Mace's house or at Matt and Aaron's house. The latter of which have been talking of plans to move into a house. like i said, the way things are at the moment, it doesn't seem like that will happen anytime soon.
The reason i don't have a job these days is a simple one. My boss was an underhanded ass-hat. it's been a few weeks since i quit working at the DVD transfer place Denevi's. But while i was there i'd give my boss weeks of notice before my school would start, he would forget and i would get calls or texts from coworkers telling me that Mike Denevi was practically blowing steam out of his ears due to me not being at work. at one point i asked to rearrange my schedule so that i would work a m-f work week and have my weekends available instead of my normal M, W, F, S schedule and he would say "You know, i can't just accommodate you." i would reply with "i know, just if you can, please consider making that change for me" and he would say "ill see what i can do" and that would be that. The next week i would look at my schedule and i had T, TH, as well as S off. which Stole a day of work from me instead of adding one. When i brought it up to him he was like "you wanted your weekends, there they are." and i told him i'd work the weekend. The next week i came in M, and then on W when i came in he said "Where were you yesterday?" and the list of malpractices continues. After my coworker called me when i was camping and left a voice message saying "hey buddy (insert small talk here) hey when you get a chance we should probably have a chat about work" when i called him back he basically told me i was on Mike's shit list and that Mike had put me on probation without telling me. this is when i decided to quit.
you guys probably don't care about all that, but yeah, i needed to vent.
so now, I'm looking for work. i applied with a temp agency but i haven't heard anything. I guess i'll have to call them soon. I also filled out two apps at Cal state east bay. I really would rather not work retail, but this is looking like an impossibility currently.
Lately i've also been feeling kind of lonely. I know this is just residue from my last relationship. Like anyone i just want someone to be there with me, to hug, hold, cuddle, etc. Julia and I ran our course and ended things in an amicable way one month short of a year. She and i were very different from each other and the kind of lifestyles we were used to living didn't do well for the other person. Our interests and likes didn't mesh up as well as we would have liked. So it's over and we're still friends, and nothing is really even in the slightest bit weird, which i am thankful for, but I'm not really the type to make things weird. so that's good. Aside from lonely I'm also feeling unattractive, which totally sounds like a girly thing to say, but its how I'm feeling so judge me accordingly. I always feel like I'm the wing man. Which is why i never go out and get the ladies with my friends, because inevitably i am not alpha dog. Also i've found that when children say things, no matter how rude they are, it's usually just an observation that hasn't been filtered with tact. i think i'll end this entry here and hit the hay.
